HOLIDAYS
HOLIDAYS
Baby showers are meant to "shower" the expectant parents with gifts to make their home comfy and sweet for the new addition. While many think that asking for money may be gauche, it is right in line with acceptable baby shower etiquette. However, there is a way to request financial gifts, host a baby shower, and more to make everyone happy about this celebration for a new bundle of joy!
Online invitations are fine for a baby shower, but many prefer the old-fashioned through the mail invites because the contemporary styles are so cute and can really set the theme for the event! Plus, an actual invitation is a perfect memory item for the baby book.
Whichever invitation method you use, be sure to include the information below.
Baby Shower Invitations
- Baby shower invitation title and whom the shower is for
- Date, time, address, RSVP date
- Party host name, phone number, and email
- Gift registry information both online and local stores
- If money is preferred, do not list a gift registry location. When people contact you to RSVP and inquire about a gift simply say, "A donation towards their nursery would be great." Or you can spread the word with the mom-to-be's friends that the couple would prefer money.
Baby Shower Thank Yous
- Write a thank you note to guests for their gifts within a month after the shower. Do not use a "fill-in-the-blank" note or a computer printed thank you note.
- Personalize the baby shower thank you note by mentioning the gift such as "I love the detail on the outfit you gave us." or "The mobile will look great in the baby's nursery."
- Make sure to send a new Baby Announcement to all guests who attending the shower.
Who's the Host?
Forget the antiquated notion that some one other than a relative of the expectant parents should host the shower. These days anyone can host a baby shower from the grandmother-to-be to a coworker. The only person who should not host the shower is the expectant couple.
Who to Invite and Who Pays For It?
Traditional baby showers were a "girls only" affair. Nowadays, couple showers are very popular. Check with the expectant mom about who she would like to invite and then check your budget!
A "ladies only" shower just might be a good cost-effective way to go as couples will only bring one gift but you'll be supplying double the amount of food and drink.
If budget is an issue, reach out to the mom-to-be's close friends and ask for help. In lieu of "splitting costs," you could ask one friend to bring the cake, another friend to "take care" of the favors, and another to coordinate decor.
When to Have the Shower
The earliest one should have a shower is two months before the baby's due date. By that time, the expectant mom should be feeling fine and getting the nursery ready. The custom in some cultures is to have a "welcome shower" after the baby is born. A "welcome shower" may be a good way to go if the couple has chosen not to find out the sex of the baby. After the baby arrives, there's no guessing about pink and blue!
Baby Shower Themes
Baby shower themes run the gamut from cute and cuddly to sophisticated teas. We have a bunch of ideas here at Celebrations.com from baby shower cakes to sweet favors for guests. Ask the mom-to-be what type of baby shower she would like and then let the planning begin!
My first baby shower, for my son, was a Greek themed co-ed extravaganza hosted at a private home. Guests came in togas and played Olympic style games. My second shower, for my daughter, was an intimate afternoon tea at a Beverly Hills hotel, and my husband, the proud papa, was the only male in attendance. So, get an idea from the expectant mother as to what she has in mind in order to meet her expectations.
Gift Etiquette and Traditions
Guests look forward to the oohs and ahhs when the mom-to-be opens the gifts, so this tradition is a must at showers. Yes, it can take a couple of hours and is best scheduled at the end of the shower when guests are enjoying cake and coffee.
Sometimes, a "wishing well" is set up where guests bring an inexpensive (under $5) trinket to toss into the well. The wishing well is usually part of the decor or thematic such as a baby bathtub. Let guests know about this tradition in the invitation.
Either the party host or a good friend should record who gave what to the guest of honor for the purposes of writing personalized baby shower thank you notes.
RSVP on Time
RSVP in a timely manner. Many people these days respond to an invite days before the event. Or, invited guests wait for an email or phone call reminder from the host to remember to RSVP. This is a form of etiquette that needs to be upheld. Try to respond at least a week from the party date or before the RSVP deadline on the invitation.
Baby Shower Gifts
Honor the gift request. You may think that the couple would love the little rocking chair that your child loved, but what they really need is what they picked out on their registry. And if the couple asks for cash, in the most delicate way possible, give them cash or a check. Don't give a gift card that they can only use at a certain store.
Baby Shower Games
Play along with the shower games! Even if you dread the old "what's in the diaper" game, be a good sport and participate. The host went to a lot of trouble to plan activities so be courteous and guess what's in the diaper - as gross as it may be.
Kids at the Baby Shower
Don't assume that it's ok to bring your kids. This may be a baby shower, but most of the time it's an "adult only" affair. Call the party host and ask!
A Note About Gossip
Finally, and this tip comes from actual experience, don't gossip with other guests about any unpleasantness that might be happening with the expectant parents. I was at a shower one time, talking to a group of women, and one woman said, "I heard he (dad-to-be) cheated on his pregnant wife." The pregnant wife tapped the woman on the shoulder and graciously extended her hand introducing herself to the woman who had stuck her foot in her mouth. Truth!
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