All you guidos and guidettes out there get ready because tonight the whole crew returns for Season 5 of the Jersey Shore. Everyone at Celebrations is evening out their spray tan, and perfecting their poufs in preparation for tonight's season premier. How do we plan to celebrate, you ask? How does a big, saucy Italian dinner sound?  Dine Joisey style with recipes that are so good they have to be bad, unlike the hit show that's so bad it's good!

Quiz time: what fruity concoction does Ronnie "Ron-Ron" Ortiz-Magro mix up before hitting the club for a night of fist-pumping and Red Bull pounding? Answer: Ron-Ron Juice. Get the party started early with this pre-game cocktail recipe from Kaysie Norman. Abuelo's Ron-Ron Juice is equal parts Ron Abuelo Aejo and cranberry juice with a whole lot of Joisey juice mixed in.

The ladies of the Shore may have 'meatball problems', but this right here is a meaty solution to a hungry crowd. Chicken with Mustard Mascarpone Marsala Sauce is a tangy, rich dish that treats the taste buds to authentic Italian, even if the famed television show can't promise the same!

Unfortunately for those new to the Shore they've yet to come out with a subtitles setting for translating Shore-Speak. Luckily, honorary guidette  Kaysie Norman has prepared this go-to Vocab Guide to keep us all fluent in the language of the Jersey Shore.