How to Create a Billion-Dollar March Madness Bracket

Need a billion dollars? So do I. And lucky for us, billionaire investor Warren Buffett and Quicken Loans are giving away a cool billion (that's billion, with a b) to a lucky person (or people) who complete a perfect March Madness bracket. 


Some say it can't be done. And by "some," I mean experts who are well versed in topics such as statistics, laws of averages and common sense. The odds of creating the winning bracket is 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808, according to mathematician Jeff Bergen of DePaul University. He revealed that annoying shocking statistic to USA Today, and reiterated that creating a perfect bracket takes a lot of luck; it's essentially random selection. 

But in the words of Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber, "so you're telling me there's a chance." And this is a chance I'm willing to take. Before you or I make plans on purchasing a yacht or a vacation home in the Caribbean, I've outlined a few sure-fire ways to create a winning, billion-dollar March Madness bracket. After all, it doesn't matter if you are an NCAA basketball fanatic, or have never seen a game in your life. We all have the same odds. 

 

1. Invest in Visiting a Psychic

Psychics are experts in their fields, which is to say predicting the future. I don't know about you, but I can't even tell you want I'm going to have for dinner tonight, let alone what will happen to me in one day, one week or one billion dollars from now. Luckily, that's what psychics are for. And the best part is that you can just pop into one off the street! Go in there with your bracket, and see what he or she thinks is a good selection. And don't worry about the visit being overpriced (because it will be) -- you can make up for it when you become an overnight billionaire. 

 

2. Watch out When a No.  5 Seed Team Plays a No. 12 Seed Team

Full disclosure: I have no idea what this really means. I am just regurgitating what I've heard basketball experts say. But it makes sense; since both teams are so close in match-ups, the winner could really be a toss-up. On these tough games, it's better to go with your gut. And by gut, I mean the No.12 seed team because it's more likely to be an underdog kind of story. (Keep an eye on Connecticuit vs. St. Joe's, and Saint Louis vs. the round one winner in the first round).

 

3. Throw Some Darts

Picking the best teams to advance during March Madness requires no more skill than popping open a can of beer to watch the game. So in the name of luck, chance and all that is random, try using a dart board to make your pick. Cut out the names of the playing teams and tack them to the board. Then, fire away! The ones who get hit with the darts make it on. Sounds legit, right?

 

4. Make Sure a Former Winner is in Your Final Four

I know March Madness is basically random, but by the time it gets to the final four, the major power players are still in the game. So many schools have been repeat winners: Duke won in 2010 and 2001, Florida won both in 2007 and 2006, and Connecticut was crowned the champion in 2011, 2004 and 1999. Not that this is a hard-and-fast rule, but I'm more likely to bet my (imaginary) money on a team that has made it to the final four and can handle the pressure. 

 

5. When All Else Fails, Flip a Coin

Not to sound all hippie-dippie, but sometimes, the universe has a way of working things out. And if you put all of your energy out into the universe  that you really, really want to be a billionaire, maybe the universe will respond. And that response may come in the form of flipping a coin. On the match-ups where you're stuck, pull out your lucky quarter and toss it in the air. 

 

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