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Tips to Choose Your Maid of Honor

Sometimes the maid of honor can morph into the “maid of dishonor.” Here's some tips for picking the best maid of honor.

Good intentions notwithstanding, not everyone is cut out for this huge responsibility.  The maid of honor has lots to do in regard to your wedding. She will be at your beck and call for moral and emotional support (as any best friend should!) during the wedding planning process.  

She’s in charge of communicating with the bridesmaids, and of coordinating all wedding-related activities with them. Typically, she is also responsible for organizing a number of important celebrations -- namely the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. 

As the head of your bridal party, the maid of honor will likely go wedding gown shopping with you and hopefully provide you with sound input regarding the bridal attendants’ attire, as well. 

She’ll be expected to make toasts on your behalf, at the rehearsal dinner and possibly the wedding reception. And she’ll be your go-to guide for any and every little detail or problem that you might need help with on the wedding day. 

As you can see, this is quite an important role, so before you ask your oldest and dearest childhood friend to take it on, consider the following: 

You know your best friend better than almost anyone. 
If you believe she isn’t a person who is organized or who is capable of planning a number of complicated events in a timely manner, have an honest talk with her before blankly asking her to be your maid of honor.  

Specify your expectations very clearly.  
Then, if you are bent on having her as maid of honor and she eagerly accepts but seems overwhelmed from the get-go, offer to decrease her tasks, or to share them amongst the bridal party or certain family members.

Take into account that the maid of honor will need to contribute financially to many aspects of the wedding – her dress and accessories, the parties, shower gifts for you…You may not want to put a close friend in this position if she can’t afford it (see “Bridesmaids” the movie). Again, the budget is an aspect that ought to be discussed before you pop the question and she says, “I will.”

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Meet our Writer
Jennifer Geddes
Celebrations Writer

Jennifer Kelly Geddes has hosted Christmas cookie swaps, New Year's open houses, Thanksgiving for 22, and all manner of dinner parties in her Manhattan and Ghent, NY homes.

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