Dinner Party Etiquette: Seating, Napkins, and Silverware

Taking your Seat at the Table:

• Wait for the party host to take his or her seat first.

• If there are no place cards, politely ask, "Where would you like us to sit?"

• Never take the seat at the head or foot of the table unless invited to do so by the party host. 

• Keep your elbows off the table.

Napkin Etiquette:

• After you take your seat at the table, place your napkin in your lap.

• Blot your mouth when necessary as opposed to giving it a big wipe.

• If you need to excuse yourself, place your napkin next to your plate. Never place a napkin on the plate or the chair.

• When finished with the meal, place your napkin neatly on the left side of the plate, as this is where it should have been when you first took your seat.

• Never use your napkin to blow your nose, mop your brow, or clean your utensils.

• Silverware is set in the order of how it will be used, starting with the outermost utensil for the first course.

• For the next course, you would use the next utensil working your way in towards the plate and so on, using a new utensil for each meal.

• Obviously, use your best judgment with each course, as the outermost spoon would be for soup and a fork for salad or an appetizer.

• A place setting with utensils set at the 12 o'clock position in relation to the plate are for dessert and coffee or tea.

• There are two methods, American and European, which dictate that a certain hand should hold a specific utensil when cutting and eating along with rules about fork tines.
  

• However, if you're left-handed, the etiquette doesn't apply. Most people use their left hand for the fork, as it is initially set on the left side of the plate, and their right hand for the knife. 

• The main thing to keep in mind with utensil use is to be graceful. Don't gesticulate with your utensils like a music conductor with a baton and don't stab your food!

• Never place a dirty utensil on the tablecloth. Always set your utensils on the plate when taking a sip of wine or conversing.

• When finished with your meal, place your knife and fork together with the handles at the five o'clock position on your plate and the tips towards 10 o'clock. Always make sure that the knife blade faces in.