When my almost five-year-old recently revealed to me what she wanted to dress up as for Halloween, I was slightly taken aback.
It's not because it's the middle of August and the heat is suffocating. She's always looked ahead and has actually had her costume picked out since Rapunzel's dress got stuffed in the dress-up box last year.
At least, I thought she had.
She was going to be Goldilocks, once again taking advantage of her long, blonde hair. Her dad, little sister and myself would be the three bears, each according to our size. Though somewhat concerned with the prospect of tracking down fuzzy attire in small, medium and large, I went along with the idea.
As it turns out, I won't have to worry about the hunt for bear costumes. Goldilocks is no longer.
My daughter wants to be a rock star. WHAT?!
I try to smile through the confusion on my face as she describes, with meticulous detail, her costume. It has:
- a black top with the hole-y shirt over it
- a bright yellow band around the middle (I can only assume she means a neon mini tube skirt based on the way her hands moved in front of her.)
- black tights, cut off
- sparkly Sketchers and a headband
- makeup that is dark and glitters and shaped like a star
"You know, kind of monster-like," she says as prances off the play grocery store with her sister.
My mind immediately races through the events of the past few months. I acknowledge her new found obsession with wearing anything black. I remember how much fun she had playing with my makeup, especially the inky, purple eye shadow.
I consider her impromptu living room dance performances, which simultaneously make me smile and ask, "what in the world?" I recall a recent trip to the toy store where a set of Barbie-like dolls labeled Monster High initiated an excited, almost frantic reaction from her. Oh.
I have no idea where the killer dance moves come from. I twisted my hips like that once during cheerleader tryouts in seventh grade. I didn't make the squad. Black is my favorite color to wear, but it's usually casual t-shirts and ladylike skirts not sparkles or skin-tight. I don't know how she even recognizes the Monster High characters -- our TV lineup consists of Dora, Strawberry Shortcake and the ever-popular princesses.
The whole rock star thing seems so uncharacteristic of my girl, who just a month ago refused to wear anything that wasn't pink or didn't produce a big enough twirl.
Maybe it's just uncharacteristic of me. Maybe she is just learning to be her own person. I guess I'm going to have to let her.
If there is anything I want her to be, it's someone who knows what she wants and has the confidence to follow through with it.
And, if there is one thing she wants, it is to do is dress like a rock star for Halloween. She might as well have a little monster thrown in, right?