How to Write Your Own Vows

Before actually getting down to the business of writing your own wedding vows, you and your groom have to come to certain decisions. 

First, discuss how long you want the vows to be.

You don’t want to express yourself in two sentences while your fiancé recites a three-page declaration of his love for you!  

When discussing this, consider not only how long you will actually be speaking, but how long your guests will be listening. (The last thing you want is for your guests to be bored – those aren’t the kind of tears we’re going for here!)

Next, think about whether you want to write original vows or read from published materials. 

For instance, reading poetry to each other can be a lovely way to express the day’s sentiments. (And this will save you from having to draft your own pledges.)

However, if you do each wish to write your own vows, discuss in advance how personal you want to get. One of you may have certain feelings about privacy that the other doesn’t quite share, so set the boundaries before jotting down one word.  

In addition, determine the style and tone of your vows. 

Will you go for light and amusing or profound and solemn?

Also, decide if you will surprise each other with your vows on the day of, or if you prefer to write and rehearse together in advance. 

Once you’ve answered these and are ready to proceed:

1. Set a specific word count for your vows and stick to it. This will prevent you from rambling and keep you focused.

2. As a starting point, jot down a few key phrases or words about your fiancé – think about what makes him/her the person you have chosen to share your life with. 

3. If you have writer’s block, look for wedding vows on the internet for inspiration.

4. Allot plenty of time for writing your vows, so you don’t have to do it all in one day.  This way you can start with a rough draft and then fine tune it often as your wedding day approaches.