Pairing Down the Guest List

If you’re a couple within a small, close-knit community of family and friends, creating the guest list and keeping it within a certain range of people will then be a straightforward, effortless undertaking. However, if you each have an extended amount of relatives, friends and colleagues, you may find your initial guest list spiraling out of control. Should this be the case, don’t panic! This initial guest list is just a rough draft. So how to cut it down?

First, come to an agreement together on a specific number of guests. A round number (such as 100) might be a comfortable goal. You will be working on meeting that amount as you trim the initial list.

Then separately, create a list of everyone you and your parents would (ideally) like to invite and tally the totals on each list. Is one of you way off base? Are you both over the agreed upon number? If so, that’s OK. You’re moving forward.

Next, create a master chart or spreadsheet with all of the names allotted a code. For example, BS for bride’s side and GS for groom’s side. Then assign each guest a number from 1-3 based on importance in relation to you. For example, number 1 could equal “must invite.” Number 2 could mean “would like to invite,” and number 3 could signify “to be determined.”

Be sure to go over this master list with your parents. Whether they are funding the wedding (or a portion of it) or not, they will appreciate the opportunity to express their own preferences. 

Then go over the list methodically, until the two of you begin reaching your goal of 100. This might be painful at first, as you likely don’t want to leave anyone out, but you must. People who don’t make the list will ultimately understand and still wish you all the best.